I Deserved It
by EveryoneLovesEclares
Summary: My ending of All Falls Down...and after...talk about DRAMA! read and review!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey everyone! Ok so I love love love Eli and Clare so i had to do a fanfic on them...this is my very first fanfic so please read and review and tell me what you think. I decided to do this because I wasn't happy with the outcome of All Falls Down, so i decided to make my own ending. Some things are the same and others aren't. But trust me, Eli doesn't die. Also i was thinking about keeping this as a one shot, but if you want me to continue, then just say so! So with that said... on with the story...**_

Eli's POV

"What did you do?" Clare asked as Fitz ran off to puke his guts out. Ah, revenge…

"You're the one who made us switch." I said with a small smile plastered across my face.

"Oh, don't you dare put this on me," she spat. Oh no, what have I done, I thought, and she continued, "whatever Fitz does to you, you deserve it" and with that she took off and I instantly knew I had lost her. She was right. Whatever Fitz does to me I deserve.

I took one last sip of my punch and walked off. I had messed everything up and once again lost the closest person to me just like that. I reached into my pocket and grabbed my i-pod, and once I was out of sight, I started crying. The music was blasting but I didn't hear it.

Whatever Fitz does to you, you deserve it, was all that I could hear

Clare's POV

I finally found Fitz by his locker. I felt so bad for him. Eli never should have gone this far.

"There you are. Are you okay?" I asked as he removed his jacket and placed it in his locker.

"Yep" he replied immediately.

"I should have known that Eli would try to pull something like this." I paused. "He's always trying to come off as this bad ass. Worst part is I fell for him." I paused again then continued, "Guess that makes me-"

He cut me off, "A regular ass?"

"Well I was gonna say naïve" I said with a slight chuckle to lighten the mood.

"Look Clare," he began, "I like you," he paused and reached for something on the top shelf of his locker. It was a knife! Oh my god, Fitz has a knife! He finished up by saying, "and with Eli gone, he won't get in our way"

Oh my god, was he serious? I need to find Eli.

"Um…I'm just gonna get back to the party now…" I said with a fake smile on my face, and with that I ran off to save Eli.

Eli' POV

Whatever Fitz does to you, you deserve it.

Whatever Fitz does to you, you deserve it.

Whatever Fitz does to you, you deserve it.

All I could think about was Clare and how she was right. She had always been right. She was right about violence never being the answer. She was right about ignoring the bully. And she was right about whatever Fitz does to me, I deserve it. She was right all along and I didn't listen. I am so stupid-

Suddenly someone ripped my headphones out of my ears and snapped me out of my trance. It was Clare.

"Eli you have to come with me, Fitz has a knife!" she was worried and scared, and I could see it in her eyes but I didn't move because she was right. Whatever Fitz does to me, I deserved it. So I stayed to get my punishment.

"This is where we run! Let's go!" she yelled obviously trying to save me.

"I ruined everything, Clare…I messed it _all_ up… you were right the whole time and I didn't listen...I'm so sorry, Clare" I said in between sobs.

"I except your apology now let's go!" she said urgently.

"Like I said Clare you were right," I paused and the door at the end of the hall way opened up, "I deserve whatever Fitz does to me…"

"Aren't you two cute" It was Fitz, and like Clare said, he had a knife.

"Y-You should leave" Clare hesitated as I started backing up.

"And let pretty boy here spend time with my date" Fitz spat as he got closer to me.

"Fitz please-" Clare started and Fitz cut her off, "Shut up, bitch!" he yelled.

"Get away from me" I said to Clare while pushing her out of the way. She backed up and started quietly crying.

"Look Fitz," I began, "I'm sorry about before, I'm sorry about everything. You win."

He chuckled slightly, "Ha, I've heard that one before!" He spat while pushing back a little more.

"I'm serious" I said and hot tears started spilling out of my eyes, I tried to blink them back but it didn't work.

"Yeah, and so am I, you've had this coming for a while" he yelled and push me back a little more, "what's wrong emo boy, no smart ass comments?" he said and I was finally up against the wall.

"Fitz, please don't do this…" I said and even more tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Some one's gotta shut you up" he said, and with that he plunged the knife into my stomach and pulled it back out as I started slipping down the wall. I clutched my stomach and he started walking away. Clare ran to me and kneeled down, she started crying and I felt so bad. She was going to go through, what I had to go through when Julia died.

"Oh and don't worry I'll take care of your little girlfriend" he said while coming back towards us and grabbed her hand.

"Get away from me!" She yelled and he laughed and walked off.

I started slipping away. My grip around the wound got weaker and I knew this was the end and I had to tell Clare how I really felt. I had to tell her I loved her because it was the truth.

"Eli, please! Look at me! I can't lose you! No!" She yelled while cupping my cheek lightly. My eyes started closing but I held on. My breath was uneven and I was dying. I knew it.

"Clare, I-" and with that I blacked out and I faintly heard her quiet sobs grow louder and her soft voice escape her lips.

"You what, Eli? No please don't do this! No!" she held onto my hand tight and I felt safe.

Clare's POV

"Put your hands where I can see them" I heard someone say. It was probably a police officer, but I didn't bother to look. I kept my eyes on Eli. I didn't move my hands from him until someone started removing him from my grasp. It was the paramedics. They placed him on the stretcher and quickly rolled him away.

I looked down the hall to see a crowd of people staring. Mr. Simpson was there and a bunch of police officers too. An officer helped me up and asked what happened I explained everything and they led me outside. I started shaking and crying harder than ever. All the students were exiting the building and going home. They were all staring at me. But I didn't care. I was being led towards and ambulance that Eli was being lifted into.

"Would you like to ride with him to the Emergency room?" the officer asked and I quickly nodded and entered the vehicle. I grabbed Eli's hand and felt him squeeze onto mine. Was I imagining this? The paramedics tore off his shirt and tended to his wound. We quickly arrived at the hospital and they pried me away from Eli.

They then led me to the waiting room. I placed my head in my hands and sobbed harder and harder. This was all my fault! If Eli died, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, I would be heartbroken.

Then the whole night replayed in my head and I started thinking about what Eli had said. Or almost said. He was going to tell me something. I remembered it clearly.

'Clare I-' and then he blacked out.

"Excuse me miss" I heard a voice. I snapped my head up and noticed a doctor. Oh no! No! Please No!

"Y-yes?" I stuttered

"He's going to be fine, but he has a deep wound and will have to stay here for about a week…" I let out a sigh of relief and smiled through my tears.

"C-Can I see him?" I questioned hoping he would say yes.

"I suppose, but he isn't awake yet." He said while leading me to Eli's room. When Eli woke up I knew what I was going to tell him. First of all, I was going to apologize for everything, but then I would tell him I love him, because that's the truth. The doctor stopped at a door and twisted the door knob, then motioned for me to enter.

_**Sorry if it wasnt good. Please review! Also constructive criticism is great! haha also in a review tell me if you want me to continue with this.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**OMG! I was practically screaming when I saw that I actually got some reviews! Haha…seriously thanks so much! Ok so most of you said I should continue so I will! **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or its characters…I know…sad **___

Clare's POV

I took a step inside the room and looked at the figure before me. It was Eli lying on a hospital bed looking so…peaceful. He had an IV connected to him and a bandage wrapped around his bare stomach. I started to cry softly. I felt so bad, although he was going to be fine, all I could think about was how this was all my fault and how he would hate me forever. I took his hand and placed a light kiss on his cheek. I then sat down in an uncomfortable chair next to the bed, his hand still in mine.

"I'm so sorry, Eli" I spoke softly knowing he wasn't listening. I squeezed his hand harder and let out a random sigh. It was a happy, yet sad sigh.

Eli's POV

I felt someone squeeze my hand and I slowly began opening my eyes, I didn't know where I was. Was I dead? Is this heaven? No, I thought, this is too real. I noticed Clare sitting on a chair next to me crying, her head down. I'm guessing she didn't notice I woke up because she started talking and I quickly shut my eyes and listened.

"I can't begin to wonder how much you hate me. This was all my fault." Oh no, she thought this was her fault. No! I wanted to open my eyes and tell her everything was okay but then she continued, "I should have never ever agreed to go to the dance with Fitz. He is such a jerk and I knew that, but I guess I just didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe that he had a soft side too. You know?" she paused. No I really didn't know what she meant, but I continued listening. "I wanted to believe that he really did want to end this feud, and finally make things better, but then you put ipecac in his drink and he got made. I was mad at first too, but now I know that you really were trying to protect me. You knew the entire time that he was a bad guy and you tried to tell me. I was just too stupid to listen. And I hate myself for that. I hate myself for letting you get hurt and suffer. Eli, you could have d-died." She started really crying then, but she still continued. "When I saw Fitz pull the knife out of his locker and say, 'Clare, I really like you, and with Eli gone, he won't get in our way' I just wanted to beat him up right there. I was so petrified so obviously I didn't, but I should of, because then you wouldn't be here. Oh my god, Eli this is all my fault. I guess what I really wanted to say to you is that I'm so sorry that words can't even explain my self-hate right now. I also wanted to tell you the truth. The truth is that no matter how stupid you can be sometimes," Wait did she just call me stupid? She took a deep breath and finally let it all out, "I-I love you, Eli, I really do, with all my heart. Also, I'm so happy you are alive, because without you, then I would be heartbroken, Literally heartbroken, because the second you were s-stabbed, I felt half my heart get ripped out of my chest, because it was all my fault. And yes, I do know that you will hate me forever because I almost got you killed, but I just needed you to know how I feel. I'm truly sorry." And with that she kissed my hand. I decided this was my queue to let all my feelings out.

Clare's POV

I had finally finished my speech to an unconscious Eli when suddenly he spoke, "How could I ever hate you, Clare?" He said softly. I looked up at his face and stared into his green orbs.

"Oh my god, uh, I, uh, didn't know you were awake….I'll just uh go now" I started to stand, but he yanked me back down.

"You're not leaving me Clare… ever." He spoke gently and pulled my hand towards his mouth and placed a soft kiss on my knuckles, and then he continued, "You know how I was going to tell you something right before I blacked out?" she said, his hot breath hitting my hand that was still near his mouth.

"Uh..yea" Was all I could get out, since I was still shocked that he had heard my heartfelt speech.

"Well do you know what I was going to say?" he asked in a serious tone.

"Um…no"

"Well I was going to tell you that I love you, because honestly, Clare, I wasn't sure if I was going to survive and I needed you to know how I truly felt." He confessed. Oh my god, I thought, he couldn't be serious.

"R-really" I stuttered and blushed a little.

"Yes" Was all he said and that's all I needed to hear to believe it, "Oh and Clare, don't you ever, ever, blame what happened, on yourself, never." He said.

"But Eli, it _was_ my-" he began but he cut my off.

"Eh, what did I say? Never blame this on yourself because it was in no way at all your fault. What happened was I was being a jerk and didn't know how to end a fight peacefully and just apologize. And Clare I'm so sorry for causing you any trouble ever. I'm also sorry you had to witness my near death experience. Ha." Did he really just laugh? Oh my god.

"This isn't funny Eli." I said and hit him on the shoulder lightly.

"Ouch, Clare! Way to injure the injured." He said and smirked at me. Oh how I loved his smirk. It just made me melt.

"Oh I'm sorry, want me to kiss it, make it better?" I asked sarcastically giving him a fake frown.

"Hm… actually my lips were kind of hurting. Maybe you could kiss them and then I would feel better." He spoke softly and smirked. Of course I gave in.

Eli's POV

Her lips brushed up against mine and I kissed her hard and passionately. Soon enough I trailed my tongue across her lower lips and begged for an entrance. She granted me access and my tongue explored her mouth. The kiss lasted for what felt like hours. It was perfect. I couldn't control it, it just felt so right. Eventually she and I both pulled away, needing air. We were both panting and I stared into her aqua eyes and I could see her every emotion. I scooted over towards one end of the bed and motioned for her to sit. She accepted the invitation and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and we just sat there in silence for about 10 minutes.

"I love you, Clare" I said while looking down at her. She stared back up at me and looked at me with her breathtaking eyes. She smiled.

"I love you too, Eli"

_**So….what do you think? Well, see that little button down their? Hm..yea! OH! Well you should click it and write something nice! Hahaha. BTW, I am just gonna make this a full story…I don't know how long its gonna be, but there will be DRAMA! Haha, so make sure you watch for my updates! Thanks!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**You guys are so nice! Haha…so I decided I would update now! Oh..and Munro Chambers got a twitter…YAY! Also, in this story, Eli only has a dad that is not very supportive and doesn't really care about his son and Eli doesn't really care about him. Also, his mom abandoned him and his dad when he was young. So yea, here it is… **_

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT Degrassi or its characters…if I did..there would be so much more Eclare stuff and less of like those other pointless characters..haha no offense…except Adam, I like Adam!**_

Eli's POV

I slowly opened my eyes and look around. I remembered I was in the hospital and realized that I had fallen asleep. But where was Clare. I quickly sat up and within a second I was lying back down due to the excruciating pain in my abdomen. I looked around for a bit wondering where she could have gone. I then realized there was a piece of note on the other half of the bed. The half that Clare had been in the night before. I picked it up and read it:

_Eli,_

_Last night at around 12:30, a nurse came in and switched your IV bag and told me that I had to leave. I really didn't want to, trust me, I wanted to stay with you forever, but she practically pulled me out of the bed and allowed me to write you this letter to you. So I have to go home, but I will most definitely be back in the morning. Also, I called my mom and told her everything and guess what? She said I didn't have to go to my grandmother's house over break. She said I could stay with you! So that's exactly what I'm doing. I will see you in the morning! I love you._

_-Clare_

I smiled and placed the letter on the table beside my bed and grabbed the remote. I looked through the channels but didn't really find anything interesting, so I just turned on the news. I wasn't really paying attention to what they were talking about. All I could think about was Clare. She had been on my mind a lot, for the past week or so, but now she was the only thing on my mind. I was imagining the things we would do this break, when my thoughts were interrupted.

_Knock, knock, knock._

A head peeked in, and it was my dad. I sighed. I really didn't expect him to show, and quite frankly, I really didn't want him to. He and I never really got along. He was always drunk and we always argued about pointless things. Whenever we had a serious talk, it was always about my mother. She left when I was four and my father blames it on me. He always says that because of me, he lost the love of his life. So basically, he was calling me a mistake.

"Hey son," he spoke softly while taking a step in the room and closing the door.

"Hi." I said in an uninterested tone, hoping he would get the point, but he only stepped closer and took a seat in the chair next to my bed. I wasn't sure if he was sober or not. I was never able to tell anymore

"How are you feeling?" He asked trying to sound sympathetic.

"Oh I'm doing just fine, dad." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. He was silent, so I continued, "Why are you here?"

He looked confused, "What, a father can't come visit his son in the hospital after he was just stabbed."

"I wouldn't exactly call you a father." Those words were hard to say, but they were the truth. He was never home. He would always be at 'work' until two in the morning, and when I woke up, he was already gone again. He also abused me, nothing too bad, but he would hit me, and it would usually leave a mark. I was basically on my own ever since he became an alcoholic when I was 13. I guess it was then when he realized his life sucked and he thought alcohol would make it better.

He stood up slowly, pointed his finger at me and shook his head. He was about to turn around and leave when suddenly his hand rose up and he swung it across my face leaving a stinging pain on my left cheek as he exited the room. Wow, its one thing to hit your son, but to hit him the day after he was stabbed… that is ridiculous.

Clare's POV

I woke up at around 7:30 and took a quick shower. I wanted to get to Eli as soon as possible. I stepped out of the shower and grabbed my towel. I went into the closet and slipped on some jeans and a fitted t-shirt. I wanted to be comfortable, since I was going to be in the hospital all day. I finished getting ready and checked my phone. I had one new text message from Adam.

_Hey Clare, are you going to see Eli today? _ I can't believe he asked that.

_Well of course. Wanna come?_ I figured Eli would want to see Adam, since they were best friends.

_Yea, my mom was gonna bring my in like 5 minutes. Wanna ride?_

I texted Adam back telling him that I would love a ride there, since my parents were at my grandmother's house. I then walked down stairs and grabbed a granola bar and my house key and waited on the front steps for Adam. He arrived moments later and I got in the car. I was actually quite anxious to see Eli today, but the ride to the hospital was going to be about 30 minutes due to morning traffic.

Eli's POV

After my dad left, a nurse came in and gave me some breakfast. I was happily eating when I was interrupted by someone knocking on the door again. I was hoping it was Clare or Adam, but it wasn't.

I woman walked in. She had dark brown hair that had streaks of grey in it. Her skin was a milky color and she had visibly chiseled cheek bones. Her eyes were green, just like mine.

"Hello Elijah." She stated as I was trying to figure out who she was. No one ever calls me Elijah, and suddenly a random woman walks in and thinks she has the right to. I guess she realized I was clueless on who she was, because she introduced herself.

"It's me… Mom."

_**AHHHH..cliffhanger…Mwhahaha….Soooo, what do you think? I didn't really plan on this to happen, but it did… so yea! Haha, I will continue with the whole 'mom' thing in the next chapter, but then what do you want to happen? Please give me any suggestions on where you would like this to story to go. Thanks!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**OMG! Writer's block…haha… I hope this is good enough for you guys! **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or its characters, just the plot**_

Eli's POV

"M-mom?" I questioned while sitting up slightly and placing my try of food on the table.

"Yes, Elijah. It's me, your mother. Your father called me last night and told me what happened. I immediately got a plane ticket and flew over night. I'm so sorry for leaving you and your father. Please, forgive me?" her voice was soft. She walked over to me and opened up her arms signaling that she wanted a hug. I obliged and we hugged for a few minutes. When we released, I noticed several tears running down her tanned face.

"Mom, please don't cry, I forgive you." I stated, but then I was curious about everything, so I decided to interrogate her, "Wait, mom, why did you leave in the first place? Where did you go? Why did you decide to come back now? I thought you didn't care about me. Are you going to stay forever?" I rambled.

"Elijah, calm down," she said while sitting in the chair next to me, "I left when you were young, because I had another husband in the states." Oh my god. Was she serious? I opened my mouth to speak, but she beat me to it.

"Please don't be mad. I was on vacation when I met your dad and we fell in love, but then we started arguing, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I left. My old husband took me back and we had 3 kids. Jayden, Mia, and Sidney, they are all younger than you. We live in the states. Georgia, to be exact. My husband's name is Mitchell, you would really love him." She paused. Wow, my mom had a whole different life. I was shocked, yet surprisingly happy for her, but at the same time I was mad.

"How could you leave me? I'm living with an alcoholic, abusive father that doesn't give a damn about me!" I shouted. My anger was getting to the best of me.

"I know sweetie, and I am truly sorry. I would love for you to come live with me and Mitchell and the kids, what do you think?" No! What was she thinking. As much as I wanted my mother back, I couldn't leave Canada. I couldn't leave the love of my life. I couldn't leave my best friend.

"Mom I can't just leave my whole life behind to go live with you. I mean as much as I want my mother back, I can't. My life is finally falling in to place again. Everything going great and I can't just leave." I said, trying not to raise my voice.

"I know sweetie, I understand, maybe we could arrange something." Arrange something? Really? Like what? I needed to know.

"What do you mean 'arrange something'?" I questioned.

"Well I don't know. My kids are still young and haven't started school yet, and Mitchell has his own business, so he can move and still keep his job. I was thinking maybe we could move up here. I could gain full custody of you and everyone would be happy." She stated, as if it was nothing.

"Are you serious?" I questioned wide-eyed.

"I'm not promising anything, but I've been thinking about it ever since I got the call from your father. He didn't sound very concerned about you, and that made me nervous. Now that I know he's an alcoholic, and abusive, it seems to be the right decision. All I want is for you to be happy." She announced and a full smile was painted on my face. Suddenly my eyes started tearing and she gave me another tight hug.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The door swung open and Adam and Clare stepped in.

"Your two favorite people in the world are here!" Adam announced, but then noticed the woman sitting next to my bed. "Oh, uh, sorry, we'll come back later." He said while stepping out of the room.

"No, wait!" I said, catching them before the left.

"Clare, Adam, this is my mom." I said with pride. They were the only ones that knew my past, and once I said this, the both looked shocked. "Mom, this is Clare, my girlfriend," I gave Clare and smirk, "and Adam, my best friend." I smiled.

"Well nice to meet you Clare and Adam." She stood up and shook both their hands. "Um, Elijah," She said while turning towards me, "I'm going to go grab something to eat, and call up Mitchell to discuss our arrangement, I will me back in a couple hours to tell you what he said." She leaned down and kissed my forehead before turning to leave the room. Before she stepped out, I stopped her.

"Oh and mom," I said and she turned around to look at me, "it's Eli." I said in a matter-a-fact tone.

"Oh, okay, well I'll see you later," she paused, "Eli." And with that, she left the room.

"Dude, your mom is here? How? When? What?" Adam demanded while taking a seat in the chair looking confused as ever. I just smiled and told them everything.

"I'm really happy for you Eli!" Clare said when I was finished explaining. Then she leaned in for a kiss. Her soft lips fit perfectly with mine and eventually our tongues were exploring each other's mouths.

"Uh, sorry to interrupt you spit swap, but I'm still here." He interrupted after about 2 minutes of making out.

"Oh, uh sorry Adam." Clare said wile blushing slightly and sat next to me in the bed.

"Yeah, yeah. So I bought some new comics for us to read." He said while picking up a plastic bag off the ground and unloading the comics. We all just sat there for a long time reading comics and talking about certain scenes every once in a while. Clare didn't seem very interested at first, but then joined in to make me happy. That's basically how the rest of my morning went, spending time with the two most important people in my life.

_**So how was it? Sorry that it's so short this time, but that's all I really wanted to put in this chapter so yea. Also I would really appreciate suggestions because I'm getting stuck. Haha. Thanks!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey everyone! Lol so…I now I have not updated in like forever, but there is a reason…I am discontinuing this story. Now, before you go all ballistic on me, just hear me out. I am discontinuing this story because I have no idea where to go with it..lol..and also school, cross country and homework are taking over my life..no joke lol. But I have some good news…I have been really bored during in school, so during history, I pretend I'm taking notes, but really I'm just writing a new fanfic hahah. Okay so I've written about 10 pages of the story so far, but I still gotta type it so, that may be awhile lol so yea but this new story is called A New Forever, and this story takes place 6 years after clare and eli break up(you have to read to learn about the break up), and the reunite! But there's a twist and to find that out you must read it, so look out for it lol thanks! And sorry for discontinuing.**_


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